Friday, January 30, 2009

Peterson's Fiance is Gone...

And, no, they don't mean missing. She moved out. 

I mean... I can imagine that a guy like DP has a lot of baggage... and possible homicide charges... and that can't be easy.

Is it appropriate to say, "you go, girl?!"

I said it.
Continue reading...

The Counter

Although Social Media-phobe may have had small -uncalled for- melt down last night... prior to doing so, he picked a fabulous dinner spot: The Counter.

Never had I ever been to this gem, which sits between Matisse (love it!) and the million random mattress stores located on Diversey in Lakeview/Lincoln Park.

I loved the low key, yet trendy, atmosphere. You walk in... and you're not sure if you're at a hip bar -with the back-lighting and garage-like windows- or a 70s diner -with vintage photos and diner-type seating. 

Overall, a perfect pick for a second date... Clearly stating you're a low-key guy/girl (weed out the high-maintenance ones)... with good taste (literally).

The menu is the interesting part. You build your own burger. Typically, I hate when I have to make too many choices (cafeterias are my nemesis)... but this was kind of fun.

And... the waitress asks you questions like, "do you want a milkshake or a glass of wine?" The fact that they offer both is FAB.

Rumor has it that it's Oprah's fav burger joint... and I think I might just agree with O-dog this time.

My burger of choice? I went with the turkey burger, with pepperjack cheese, some type of corn salsa, southwest sour cream on a wheat bun. And for a side, a mix of regular and "sweet" fries.

Ever been? What were your thoughts?
Continue reading...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Blog Mafia

I found the crazy.

It started as a casual conversation about how my brother bought me an Ipod for Christmas because he actually read my blog (shout out to Pat, in C-bus!!)... 

He replies, "You have a blog?!?!?!"

He laughs for a long... awkward minute. First it started as a condescending-type laugh. Like, "Who would write a blog? What a lame idea! ha!"... and then... 

As if he could hear my thoughts (I was mentally starting this blog in my head)... the once-condescending laugh turns a bit nervous... as if this blog were some type of governmental espionage plan I had against all guys I get to take me on dates.

Little did I know bringing up my blog could actually turn someone mad. And not angry. I'm talking paranoid... sleep-with-your-eyes-open crazy.

Grant it, that this is someone who just admitted to be Facebook-free and happy about it. He then went on to justify why he was pretty much against the whole movement of social networking. Perhaps throwing out the B word was a bit early in his dating conversation realm.
He excuses himself to the bathroom as, I swear, he searches the room for hidden cameras. We start another conversation, and he cuts it short... worried that I'm going to judge the conversation and use it for material... that I'm going to call him a jerk or a tool. Woah there buddy. 

I try to calm him down... trying to explain all the random (and you can attest when I say RANDOM) thoughts that go through my mind that provide me with more than enough material... but he's not convinced.

Finally, I break it to him that I do have more to blog about than him. I tried the nice route. I did. This called for drastic measures. 

And then he's surprised when I don't invite him in to hang out. And THAT, my friends, is how Chicago does crazy. 

Blog mafia-style.

Good thing I didn't admit that I Tweet... Then things could have gotten really awkward.

Caveot, although, YES, I did exactly what he feared and blogged about the date.... I do NOT go on dates looking for material for my blog. I go on dates to meet level-headed, fun people that have lasting relationship potential... The material, unfortunately, comes a whole lot easier.

I had no intentions to write about the date... but when my blog single-handedly makes a grown man want to pee his pants in fear of what I could write... this is something that needs documentation.

Sleep tight.... 

Maybe with one eye open ;) 

Continue reading...

Monday, January 26, 2009

Dating in the Second City....

The first date. Like testing the water in the hot tub to make sure you don't burn your toes before you can actually enjoy the experience.

There are perks to first dates. Both of you can blindly believe the other is perfect. You can pretend that they possess all the positive traits of your exes and absolutely none of the negative.

There are also realities to first dates. Let's all be honest. You can be a nice person and still admit... you are looking for their little bit of crazy. Everyone has it. My theory is that people just end up with the person whose crazy they can live with... and that crazy might even be admirable or cute after awhile. Or, even worse, you might start believing it's normal.

Eeekk. Eeeek. Eeek.

Then there's just the crazy that is absolutely not acceptable past a date or two. I've met and dated a couple of those fellas. To name a few...

I've been out with the crazy that...

**Thought that it was okay to make negative racial AND religious comments at all... let alone during the first date.
**Considered a crowded frat party a suitable Valentine's Day date.
**Just didn't blink. Try talking to someone and not blinking. It will immediately freak the other person out. Just try it.
**Invited me to a party... then ignored me and made out with someone else.
**Found out he was his ex-girlfriend's baby's daddy.... which prohibited a second date (which, given the circumstances, could have ended up much like the last point).
**Took on the persona of Superman/Clark Kent when comparing his sober and drunk personalities. In case you're not following, Superman was Romeo. Mr. Kent turned out of control party boy... and while standing 5-feet away took another girl's phone number.

Really, after digging up all those wonderful memories, I might as well start writing Valentine's Day cards for Hallmark. Just kidding. I'll stop...If I go on, I may become a lesbian... And although there's nothing wrong with lesbians, I'm still going to stop.

All this said, you would never guess, but I actually did go on a good first date...leading to a second. And I guess my point to all this rambling is... I haven't found his crazy yet.

And that. is. scary.

I've also been in relationships where the crazy doesn't come out for a few months... and by then you're in rationalizing mode because you're in too deep. Everyone should be completely crazy transparent. Or transparent in their craziness. You get it.

I'm enacting the Scarlet C on all Chicago singles. And the "C" doesn't stand for Chicago.

So in the meantime, I'm going to naively convince myself he's 100 percent normal... and beaten the odds of 20-something boys. Since he's technically living his 30th year... maybe moving on to a new bracket of men will surprise and impress me.

Only time will tell.

But, to be honest, the crazies are WAY more fun to discuss, so dish your craziest dates/exes?? I can't get enough of these stories...
Continue reading...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Notable Quotables...

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." - Samuel "Mark Twain" Clemens
Continue reading...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Love on the Blogosphere

Every so often you get the random e-mail requesting that you deposit 1 million dollars into your checking account... you delete the e-mail and move forward with your day. This morning, though, I got a random love letter from a rando from some other country. And it is so ridiculous it kind of made my day...

Totally blog-worthy.

Enjoy (and feel free to respond to him if you're looking for love! :))

Hello Dear,
How are you today?hope fine,if so thanks be to God almighty. my name is khadi 26 years of age from Liberia in west Africa, it will be my pleasure to get into acquaintance with you and see what happens in future, so i will like to know what you like and dislike, if you don't mind to have my private e-mail address, for more confidential romantic and pure love communication.(
Await your mail soon.
Continue reading...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Change is in the Air....

Today was all about change... so, in honor of the inauguration and New Years' resolutions and whatnot, I've decided to make a few changes of my own. 

On THIS day... hereby hear me promise America (and all 10 of you who follow my blog):
  • I will stop complaining about Chicago weather. I'll suck it up and get over it... and continue to silently book trips to Cancun and Fort Meyers until May.
  • I will promise all those in my bikram class that I will never again eat three hours before class... so they don't have to witness my skin turn green
  • I will wake up at 3 a.m. every morning to feed Moxie (and will not throw her out the window or abuse her in any way... minus the spray bottle) because I've vowed to make her lose weight... 
  • I will help our economy by eating at Toro at least once a week... it not only helps Mitch... it's helps my sanity
  • I will try and smile at strangers... instead of assuming they are evil or tourists... or evil tourists
  • I will rid my life of shows like "The Hills"... and add more shows on CNN and CNBC
  • I will actually get up when my alarm goes off... instead of snoozing for an additional 45 minutes.
  • I'll get more people to respond to my blogs by utilizing virtual torture techniques (I wouldn't touch the "y" key in the next 10 minutes if you fail to respond to this... don't believe me?? hmm... do you want to find out??? hahahHAHAH... crazy laugh!)
Are you ready for a change? Trying to stop smoking? Trying to stop dating striped shirt guys? Need more friends and less cats in your life? Please share.
Continue reading...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Something's Gotta Give...

Do you ever have one of those days/weekends where you really start to think the stars are not aligned for you? That the bad luck fairy made an extra special visit for you?

That was this weekend.

Friday I had plans to go to happy hour. Although after waiting 10 minutes for the bus (and then not being able to feel my legs), I decided Netflix and a bubble bath was a lot more appealing. 

I woke up Saturday and my weekend was off to a good start. I got up early, ate breakfast and decided to go to an earlier bikram class than I had planned. 

Unfortunately, I had ignored the don't-eat-three-hours-before-going-into-a-105-degree-yoga-class rule. I didn't think a granola bar would be puke-worthy, but after 25 minutes... i was seeing flashes of light and knew I needed to get out of the sauna and go straight to the bathroom. So instead of cooling down after the workout... my goal was to settle my stomach.

Then the fun continued... 

Later that night I went out for two of my friends' birthdays at Sopo on Southport. At the end of the night, as I was getting out of the cab and shuffling to my door, I totally wipe out on black ice... which caused my head to strategically land on the edge of the curb. The only edge not covered by 5 feet of snow. Oh the irony...

The result?? A big shiner. Cut on my cheek. A lame story. And a damaged ego. 

But at least I don't have a concussion, right?

None of the above events would have occured had I lived in San Diego.

Just saying.

Did the bad luck fairy hit anyone else this weekend? Do tell.

Continue reading...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Why do we live here?

Why do we live here?

I have NO idea.

Will be on Craigslist the rest of the day pricing out apartments in San Diego. For real.

If you're particularly optimistic and would like to remind me why I picked the coldest city in America to love and live in... please do.

Stay warm.
Continue reading...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Theater OR Theatre?

Question: Do you build a theater? But GO to the theatre? Meaning, do you spell "theater" when you're talking about a building, but "theatre" when you're talking about the arts? I'm sure a simple Google search could answer that question... but alas, it's time to go to bed... 

So, tonight I went to the theatre.... and remembered, again, how much I LOVE going to musicals. 

I saw Jersey Boys for the first time. The show has been in Chicago for a couple of years, and I finally bit the bullet and got tickets. Then, Monday I realized I actually had not bought the tickets...the purchase never went through. Perhaps I dreamt purchasing the tickets? Who knows... but my heart was set and no turning back. By 5 p.m. that afternoon, I had two tickets waiting for me at Will Call.

And well worth the wait. Nothing disappointing about it.

Every time I go see a show, especially in playhouses like the Bank of America Theatre... I always think about my old choreographer. He used to give us these pep talks before we practiced our ballad to put what we were doing (performing) into perspective... and one time he said, "Hundreds of people are coming to see you to sit in a dark room, forget their lives for two hours and be taken away. Sing to them. Perform for them."

And that's exactly what all the performers did tonight. They've done that show a million times, and yet, it seemed like the first... or maybe even the last.

Great night! 

Anyone else see it? Thoughts?
Continue reading...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Reason to Sweat...

Instead of huddling inside and hibernating until summer, this year, I'm taking Chicago winter by the balls. Full throttle. War time. In addition to Santa bringing me the warmest boots and coat available... I bought a monthly membership to Bikram Yoga Chicago on Clark Street.

Outside it may be 3 degrees (-7 wind chill), but inside the bikram studio temperatures start at 105 degrees Fahrenheit. For 90 minutes, any day of the week, I can immerse myself in complete and total heat. And 50 percent humidity. 

It's a little bit like heaven... and at times, quite hellish.

Doing stability poses while in this type of heat, you become completely aware of every muscle and every pore on your body. You experience your entire body as it cries out each and every toxin that you put in it. Or at least it feels that way. 

Like sitting in a steamer or hot bath for hours, you begin to prune after about 40 minutes.

Basically, it's so damn hot you really can't think of anything else. You're able to completely block out winter. After about 15 minutes, you find yourself unable to focus on anything but the waterfall of sweat pouring down your back... in your eyes.... down your legs... and, of course, your breathing so you don't end up throwing up or passing out. 

Despite what might sound like a displeasing experience, it actually is quite a stress reliever. 

And an added bonus, there are seriously hot shirtless men with unbelievable bodies glistening in front of you the entire class. Who says you have to hide behind parkas all winter?

Anyone else a bikram yogi?? Hate it? Love it? Tell me about it...
Continue reading...

Monday, January 12, 2009


As a city-dweller, there is a lot I am randomly, and sometimes irrationally, scared of... Getting beat up at 5 p.m. while running just so someone can steal my Ipod. Getting flashed by perverts on the bus/El. Terrorists attacking downtown landmarks that surround my office building. Food poisoning at the Weiner Circle. More than 10 striped shirt guys in one bar. Valid concerns. Valid fears.

So given that I'm, for the most part, a rational person, I've never understood people who are scared of relationships. I get being scared to be in a relationship if you're thinking of dating an ex-convict... or maybe someone who looks like someone who was on America's Most Wanted... or even someone scandalous like your roommate's ex, co-worker, or, even more stupid, a client...

But it's those people who dramatically say things like, "I love you, but can't be with you..." who make no sense to me. To me that's like denying yourself a glass of red wine after a long day of work... or changing the channel during your favorite show... or turning down a free trip to the Bahamas in the middle of winter... all for no good reasons.

Unfortunately this phobia is rapidly turning into a city-wide epidemic among 20-something boys.... One. by. one.

And so, in honor of those relationship-phobes, I've mapped out a few more ridiculous fears to add to the WTF list. And my diagnosis.
  • Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the top of your mouth (Who doesn't have this fear?!)
  • Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness (Totally mom's fault... probably told them they were an ugly child...)
  • Chirophobia - Fear of hands (Watched Edward Scissorhands one too many times?)
  • Ombrophobia - Fear of being rained on ('I'm meelllltttiinnnggg')
  • Logophobia - Fear of words (I have nothing to say about that)
  • Geliphobia - Fear of laughter (Clowns... enough said)
  • Gamophobia - Fear of weddings (Commitment issues... or they were poisoned by wedding cake... or forced to do the Chicken Dance one too many times)
  • Chromophobia- Fear of bright colors (Eye problems??)
  • Pentheraphobia - Fear of mother-in-laws (Ha! Too many Lifetime movies entitled, 'The Perfect Mother' or something similar)
  • Botanophobia - Fear of houseplants (Little Shop of Horrors. Plants are nothing to laugh about... especially the man-eating ones)
Any other big ones I missed? I couldn't find the word for fear of exposed mattresses... but of course, Cristy, that is an excellent, and valid, concern.

Continue reading...

Sunday, January 11, 2009


In 1995 when My-So-Called-Life went off the air, I bought a t-shirt rallying the efforts to bring it back on the air. 14 years later, I bought the DVD set. OMG... 14 years later. I can't believe I can even say that... and, now, I have some new observations on this show that I practically worshipped as a pre-teen...
  • Why does the main character, Angela, always act like she's high?? Awkward and shy is one thing... acting completely strung out and manic depressant is another...
  • Jordan Cadalano is STILL hot. It's unfortunate Jared Leto had to move on from prep-grunge to go onto become a crazy rocker who wears eye liner and nail polish. He could've been the next Brad Pitt. Fo real. His eyes are amazing.
  • I also forgot how educationally-challenged his character was... i think once you're past 18 that loses its appeal and you actually enjoy carrying on a real conversations with someone you're dating
  • The actual taping is really dark... which makes Claire Dane's hair illuminate red
  • It is still a grrreeat show.
Back to my all-day MSCL marathon :)
Continue reading...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Cancun, Anyone?

The HIGH temperature next Tuesday is -3 degrees F.

Is it a coincidence that I've decided to book my May trip to Cancun this week???

In circumstances such as this, I WISH meteorologists would lie or just not tell the truth. Who wants to hear that kind of information five days in advance?? It's like finding out the date your going to die (ummm.. kind of). No one needs to know.

Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.
Continue reading...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

New Years Resolution Flop

It's January 7. My New Year's resolution was to make my crazy hairball cat lose 1 pound. Just one...

However...turns out, in just a couple weeks, she went from crazy cat to INSANE cat on a diet.

Given that I have a cold that even Sudafed Nighttime won't help, last night I did not appreciate getting woken up not once, but TWICE, by little nails scratching at my nicest piece of grown-up furniture. Once at 3 a.m. Once at 5 a.m.

Of course she doesn't choose to scratch the hand-me-down end table that I've had since college. She chooses the dresser I just bought this summer.

This is her passive-aggressive way of saying, "You won't feed me? Fine. You won't sleep either, biatch... ha. ha. HAHAHA! (insert evil laugh)"

Ugh... I'm about to get her nails removed, but everytime I mention that at the vet, they practically turn into PETA activists and question my morals. What about my options?! My sleep?! My furniture?! My SANITY?!

So screw this resolution. I'm about to let her be happy and obese. I mean... she doesn't have a lot of perks in her little furry life... Why take away her little cup of dried, processed happiness?!

That's all... Any advice, fellow cat owners?
Continue reading...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Things That It's Okay to Lie About...

CNN posted an article today. "Things that it's OK to lie about." My favorites include:

  • That the reason for your bags is not, in fact, that you were out late partying but that you were up late reading "Twilight"
  • That you don't know all the lyrics to Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love To You..."
This got me thinking... there are a few others they forgot.
  • That you would have no idea how to cook certain foods from SCRATCH... like spaghetti sauce (they grow in jars from Italy, right?) or cookies (they don't always come pre-sliced?)
  • That you ate icecream for dinner... and convinced yourself that if you were craving it, clearly that means your body needed the "nutrients"
  • When a new potential beau calls for the first time, you tell him you're just leaving the gym after an intense workout...
  • That "The Hills" is on your DVR schedule
  • That you still have feelings for an ex-boyfriend or ex-fling...
  • That you'd rather lose your mind than your phone
  • That you took all your Christmas decorations down the day after Christmas... and by Christmas, I mean Valentine's Day
  • That you think a character on teen dramas like Gossip Girl or 90210 is hot... and then realize you're in your mid-20s... and not a teenager...
  • That you read your horoscope everyday and think... that is SO true
  • That you went straight home after the bar instead of taking a detour into La Bamba and eating a burrito as big as you head
  • That you've actually enjoyed yourself at Duffy's
What do you think... when is a little white lie okay?? When is lying more acceptable than the truth?
Continue reading...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Things I Would Not Do If I Were a Bachelor Contestant...

There are certain shows I love to hate... and the Bachelor is a contender for the #1 slot. Right next to the Hills. And every season, as the new chicas strut out of the limo, there are often times I think, I would never do that... so here's my list. Inspired by years of torture and ABC-inspired love. 

If I were a contestant on the Bachelor, I would not do the following...
  • Chant and/or cheer the boy's name while in the limo to meet him
  • Sing a song of any sort
  • Break out an old show choir dance or hip hop routine
  • Do gymnastics after drinking champagne
  • Say that I'm from Chicago... because all the crazy, drunk girls are from Chicago... hmmm..
  • Wear an animal print dress
  • Talk about my cat...actually I probably would
  • Discuss death, religion, politics... basic social rules that are clearly disregarded when 25 girls compete for one guy
  • Do body shots
  • Leave a perfectly good piece of cake outside on the porch to melt just to listen to crazy Chris unveil ABC's latest creative surprise that's sure to disappoint after all the hype and commercials... icecream cake never disappoints
  • Be the girl who starts the first caddy fight
  • Claim that I'm a hotdog vendor or "socialite"... 
  • Lecture the group on anything... they really don't care
  • Resign from my job to be on the show
  • Admit to cyber stalking the bachelor 
  • Constantly talk about the Bachelor as my future husband... after meeting him for the first time
  • Use Bachelor cliches like "our connection"... "love at first sight"... "if it wasn't meant to be"..."i'm ready to meet the love of my life," "i deserve my happy ending," "man of my dreams..." etc.
  • Get vaneers put in the week before the show...and possibly a boob job... to ensure I'm pearly and perky for all of America to admire
  • Make crazy killer faces at the other girls during the rose ceremony... i mean, do you forget that you're on a TAPED reality show??
  • Be a member of the Hart family, because my mom would disown me
What I would do is...
  • Give the Bachelor SPAM as a welcome present... what's a better conversation starter?? Not to mention the free publicity... could i count those impressions in the wrap report??
  • Twirl him... because that's what I do...
  • Nervously laugh
  • Make a goofy face in my glamour shot for the "deliberation" room...
  • Make him woo me.... which would inevidently get me kicked off the show...
What about you? Do you think you could do it? If you could, what would you do? What wouldn't you do?
Continue reading...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Play Hard... Pay Hard...

New Years Eve. You get together with your closest friends to get smashed to either celebrate the past year... or celebrate that it's over. 

Everyone clinks their glasses together at midnight and vows to be a better person the next year. You drink a bottle of wine and glass of champagne... maybe take a shot or two. You have a dance party until 4 a.m. Snap dozens of pictures and have a blast. 

Then you wake up. Sometimes in your same clothes as the night before. You realize, despite last night's antics, you're not a rockstar. You check your sent texts... feel regret. Search for all your belongings... feel amazed that you still have everything. You have a headache... or a full body ache... and you can't imagine getting through the day, let alone a whole year. 

Starting any day, let alone year, ridiculously hung over is not a good feeling. And the older I get, days spent watching tv for hours on end are not relaxing, they are depressing. In 2009, I resolve never to take another yaeger shot.... ever again... and avoid days like today... unless in the company of good looking fella... and cuddling is involved :) 

Happy New Years!!!! Bedtime for me... 
Continue reading...

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