Dress Up Time

"Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story."

-Mason Cooley, college professor

What's your story this weekend?!

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Webster It...

My friend just wrote me from Seattle and told me my blog was cathartic. After consulting Mr. Webster... I laughed. Look it up... you might laugh too.

Well played, Seattle. Well played.

Watch out B-M Purge Week... I'm ready... with a ready vocabulary.

Any more words I can over-use that week?

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B-M Purge Week

Before I forget, I need to document that I will soon be forced to participate in 2009 B-M Purge Week. Yes, this is an official week in my office. And they have posted signs in the bathroom stalls, reminding us when we should purge of our un-needed B-M materials on a specific week in November. (insert giggle #1)

Does anyone else find the choice of words hysterically funny? And slightly inappropriate to be used inside of an agency known for its strong communication skills? People pay us to come up with the right words for the right situations. I think we failed... or won... in this particular instance. I would give 100 percent credit to whoever came up with that... but something tells me they weren't thinking about the double meaning. (insert giggle #2)

Am I in 6th grade? Perhaps... but it makes me giggle every time I go into the bathroom. Which is kind of awkward for the person in the next stall...

I love Office Culture :) ...

Anyways... off to the bathroom to purge... I mean...

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The Phantom of the Staircase

I have to say... I feel bad for smokers.

I feel bad that they are voluntarily inhaling carcinogens in 2010... when there are more proactive non-smoking groups and information about the dangers of smoking than there elementary schools [that is clearly a made up comparison, based on nothing.... but you get my point]

I feel bad that they always seemed stressed out... until they have a cigarette.

I feel bad that the annoyance of second hand smoke has caused state-wide laws against smoking in public and forced them to go outside on cold, rainy, snowy days.

I feel bad that they have an extra tax... and that their clothes smell the next day.... and when people refuse to kiss their ash-tray mouths.

And I especially feel bad when they choose to live in a high rise... and are too tired to walk to the elevators to hit #1 and smoke outside when it's cold and rainy.

But more than anything I feel bad for my apartment right now that has been overtaken by smoke from the staircase....from X smoker's unfortunate habit that now has morphed into my #1 annoyance of 1350 N. Lake Shore Dr. This Phantom Smoker puffed enough nicoteine tonight to fill a 22-floor staircase.

For the love of fresh air. I just opened my window... and it's raining and 40 degrees. I haven't done that since my friend accidentally sprayed mace in my apartment back on Cornelia Ave... which deserved, at the time, an entirely separate blog.

I mean... seriously... in the words of Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!"

So my annoyance resulted in a second call on this subject to management about the Phantom of the Staircase. Call me the cranky cat lady from the 8th floor, but I'm not a fan of my apartment smelling like a frat house. Can you blame me? And better question, will they/can they do anything about this? Not sure... but maybe a return phone call would be nice. Or one of those elevator signs. Like when someone brought in an un-registered dog. That was all over the signage.

I say...bring on all the unregistered dogs you want... I would just like a smoke-free room, please. Thank you.

Anyone else deal with this at all in Chicago high rises?

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A Lesson in Flag Football

Flag football. Another initiative I took on this fall to broaden my horizons and sports knowledge base (can you tell I've been writing a new biz doc all day today??). Spring season... it rained for a month straight. Unfortunately we were on the turf fields... so they never called a game. It could be 45 degrees and raining and we were playing. For a first timer... this was one step up from hell. Actually, for a second timer... it still would've been a painful experience. I'm not a varsity player. I'm not in gear or even have cleats. I want to catch the ball... maybe score one or two times... and then go get drinks with the team. Basically... it's not worth pneumonia. Or even a cold.

I discovered the key to avoiding that situation... fall flag football. In the fall, the soccer teams take over the turf field... and leave the flag football teams on the softball fields. Point being... when it's raining - as it has the past four weeks - they call the game. This may mean we will be playing fall flag football until January... but if that avoids cold rain... I'm game. I would rather roll around in snow or frost than a muddy, rainy mess.

So, in the meantime, we'll continue our team meetings at Corcoran's...and our team captain Jim, every week, will start to play match maker after three drinks. It's inevitable... but these are the plays we've learned this season. Just as if we were actually playing we might learn how to catch better or throw longer, in these meeting we've learned how to intercept the conversation... and that's a life lesson that can't be taught on the field.  :) 

Anyone else not playing flag football this season?? Do tell...

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Kick me when I'm down...

When I set up my Google homepage, I included a daily horoscope in there for sheer entertainment and curiosity. Sometimes those suckers are right on! But every day I'm slightly shocked about how disheartening this one paragraph often is. Tough love, if you will. But do you really want to hear tough love from the stars?? Perhaps I should remove this... but I am a slight masochist... and honestly...they entertain me.

Anyways... had to share today's post... because my reaction was, "REALLY!? Way to kick me when I'm down..."

"You may have had a few days of intense interactions with others, yet the lack of any real romance on your horizon could be the source of your unhappiness. Fortunately, you can shift your attention and find satisfaction professionally..."

There are so many things I could say about those two sentences... but it looks like, for now, I'm the cat lady who needs to shift focus and talk more about SPAM. Not helping my romantic life :)

Until tomorrow...

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Reflections from the Cat Lady

As I talked to my cousin (the-new-mom) Jenny tonight, I started thinking... sharing an apartment with an overweight cat on the Adkins diet is much like having a newborn in your room. Unfortunately for me, my cat's LBs are not shedding... and this four-legged baby is not growing up anytime soon. She's growing. Just not growing up.

So these next few months, I will relate to someone else who rolls out of bed at 4:30 AM to feed her little one.  And come six months from now, I hope to also share the glory of sleeping eight consecutive hours without waking up to nails on my closet door or paws on my stomach. Or crazy high-pitched animal crying. 

Something tells me when little Anna wakes Jenny up, she's not reaching for the water bottle to spray her quiet. Or throwing pillows at her mid-sleep... Or putting her in the kitchen with water and a litter box. When it's not an animal, I believe that is abuse. Perhaps I shouldn't start lending any parenting advice. 

Sleep tight to the rest of the world. One day Moxie will grow down... Anna will grow up.. and both Jenny and I will get the REM sleep that we need :) 

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